2010 FIFA World Cup Guide for Dummies
June 18th, 2010
MY NEWEST POST ON AOL’S THEBVX.COM
If your neighbors are painting their faces while drinking and wearing flags — don’t be afraid. It’s the 2010 FIFA World Cup! This international soccer bonanza happens every four years and you are invited! Peep theBVX’s “beautiful game” guide and impress that hottie at the bar with your worldly knowledge.
1. That buzzing noise
The vuvuzela is a plastic trumpet that mimics the sound of a swarm of bees, providing an annoying – or sweet — sound depending on whom you ask. Either way, it’s the World Cup soundtrack, and the instrument is supposedly rooted in African history. Japan has called for FIFA to ban the vuvuzela because it’s disruptive and a University of Pretoria study says repeated exposure to the horns may cause hearing loss since it’s louder than a chainsaw. Earplugs are moving like hot cakes in South Africa.
World Cup Tip: Make your own vuvuzela and get crunk!
2. Rules of the Game
The World Cup occurs every four years and countries must compete for spots in the tournament through qualifying matches. The top 32 teams, including the host team which is automatically qualified, make it into the tournament. Then those teams are broken up into eight groups of four, Group A through H. Each team plays one game against the other three in their pools to gain points. Teams earn three points for a win, one point for a draw and none for a loss. The top two teams in each pool advance to the next stage of the tournament. Then the tournament becomes a knockout or single elimination where the last team standing will be crowned champion.
World Cup Tip: Do a World Cup bracket — it’s March Madness on steroids.
3. No Sex for Some Soccer Players
The English team coach Fabio Capello has banned his players from having sex during the World Cup, claiming it is misdirection of energy that could be used on the field. Four years ago, the English team’s elimination was partially attributed to partying hard with their WAGS (wives and girlfriends). This time, Capello planned on placing video cameras in the players’ hotel rooms to monitor their activities. Players either have to accept Big Brother or become more creative at getting some.
World Cup Tip: Sacrifice one thing — not alcohol, of course — to mentally will your team to win.
4. But Sex for Everyone Else
Prostitutes are reportedly being imported from various countries to satisfy the sexual appetites of World Cup spectators. World Cup organizers estimated that up to 40,000 prostitutes have been recruited, and authorities also fear local children may be lured into the dangerous practice. Paying for sex in a country with the world’s largest HIV population, according to a 2010 progress report by South Africa submitted to UNAIDS, may not be the best decision.
World Cup Tip: Practice safe sex. Well, that’s really just an everyday tip.
5. What to Watch
Catch goalkeeper Tim Howard play defense for USA alongside Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan. Recently, Howard endured a rib injury but x-rays show that nothing was broken, which signals his return in Friday’s (June 18) USA match against Slovenia. Also, keep your eye out for the Ivory Coast’s Didier Drogba, a fantastic striker, who sustained a broken arm but made a triumphant return in the second half of a 0-0 draw with Portugal on June 15. Don’t forget to check out those Samba Boys of Brazil, who’ve won the World Cup trophy a record five times. Spain and England still remain favorites among fans but it’s anyone’s guess who will win it all.
World Cup Tip: Pick a favorite player or team and cling loyally.
6. Black Folks are Everywhere
Witness the African Diaspora’s reach by checking out all of the beautiful black people peppered throughout the different teams. Countries like France, Brazil and Germany have players that look just like us but hail from elsewhere. Their language and home may be different but they are still our brothers and sisters with traces back to the Motherland.
World Cup Tip: Pick a team and discover an interesting fact about their nation and how our people arrived there.
7. The Name of the Game
Americans say “soccer,” and everyone else says “football.” Who’s right? The World Cup is truly the world’s sporting event and dons a different name from country to country. New Zealand once used “soccer,” but in 2006, switched to “football” to align themselves with the majority of world. The United States is one of the last countries under the FIFA umbrella holding on to soccer. So make sure you check who you’re talking to and your location when referencing the game’s name.
World Cup Tip: Call “football” the beautiful game for one full day.
8. Root, Root, Root for the Home Team
Six host team have won the World Cup in its 80-year history, with France being the last in 1990. However, home field advantage may mean much for the 83rd ranked South African team. Historically, the furthest an African nation has gone in the tournament is the quarterfinal (Cameroon, 1990 and Senegal 2002), but this year touts a record six African nations participating: South Africa, Nigeria, Algeria, Ghana, Ivory Coast and Cameroon. In 1934, Egypt became the first African qualifier for the World Cup.
World Cup Tip: Choose which African nation you think will go the furthest in the tournament.
9. More Than Just a Game
During the World Cup in Soweto, an impoverished area that was once under apartheid rule, blacks and whites play soccer together and celebrate their team in the streets. Once a two-day truce was declared in the Nigerian civil war to watch soccer great Pelé play. Soccer can also elevate existing tension between countries, like 1969′s 100-hour Soccer War between El Salvador and Honduras, which resulted in thousands of deaths.
World Cup Tip: Befriend someone from another country.
10. Madiba Magic
Nelson Mandela was held for 18 of his 27 years of imprisonment at the infamous Robben Island and forced to watch prison-yard soccer games from his cell window. South Africa was also suspended by FIFA 46 years ago for its apartheid regime, which Mandela fought to destroy. Just 16 years after the fall of apartheid, South Africa is hosting the World Cup and Mandela’s unifying presence rules the games, including the soccer stadium in Port Elizabeth that bears his name. Without the work of Mandela, a South African World Cup would not be possible
June 19th, 2010 at 3:33 am
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June 19th, 2010 at 3:36 am
Thanks for the compliment. I really enjoyed doing the reserach on this article.
June 30th, 2010 at 4:16 am
Looks like Brazil easily handles Chile in World Cup action yet again! Poor Chile!
July 2nd, 2010 at 2:41 pm
These were great – funny and useful tips!