How I would fix the NBA Outdoor game
October 11th, 2010
The NBA's annual outdoor game should resemble a game of NBA Street
As I was watching the NBA’s annual outdoor game in Palm Springs, I noticed that it didn’t look much like an outdoor game. To the viewer it looks like a regular arena game. It had shiny hardwood, plexiglass baskets and a fancy midcourt logo. It was even sponsored! Nah, uh. That’s not the outdoor basketball that you and I know. That’s not even the outdoor basketball that the guys on the court know.
I propose the NBA have a real outdoor game, that resembles the popular NBA Street video game. The game will tip at noon, eliminating the need for a lighted court and will take place on good old-fashion concrete. None of this shiny stuff. Let’s get some scrapped knees and shins in the concrete jungle. Also all players will be chosen by team captains, school yard style.
Next, chain nets. If you don’t enjoy the jingle-jangle of a chain net after a jumper then you might want to reconsider your NBA fandom.
Also no fancy seats for the highrollers. Everyone pops a squat on high school style bleachers, you know the kind that you had to pull out for the varsity team when you were a scrawny JV player. Everyone sits on the bleachers and if you come late you have to make the dangerous trek up to the ceiling. Watch your step Mr. “I’m too good to come on time”.
But please do remember to make room up front for the player’s mommas. This is proper outdoor game ettiqutte. Plus you don’t want it with Ron Ron’s momma. Trust!
A friend of mine proposed that rookies be on cop watch. I’ll think I’ll stick with the NBA security. We don’t want to go street with security, that’s a whole other territory.
Allen Iverson can be the old man who talks about how he would jook all the players in his hey day. Shaquille O’Neal can be the court DJ, Kazam. And Kris Humphries can be the guy who always “has next” but somehow he never gets in a game before the day is over.
Lastly, what is a streetball game without the snack man. I vote Lamar Odom the official Candy Man of the streetball game. Now Laters, Skittles and Air Heads for everyone!
NBA event planning team, no need to thank me. Just send Pay Pal payments to adenaandrews6@mac.com.
